Letters and Catacombs
by Fleeting Illicit Delicious
Summary: Ryou Bakura explores the catacombs where Malik Ishtar grew up.  But what does he really learn about?


"Before there was nowhere to run. Now there's no reason to hide."

Disclaimer: Kazuki Takahashi owns Yugioh. I'm just using his characters for a little while. I hope he doesn't mind.

A/N: This story is about Malik Ishtar and Ryou Bakura as friends sort of. It's kind of introspective I guess because I wanted to know how they could be similar without having to say much (or have too much yamis, romance or other things involved). I'm not sure how I feel about this story yet.

Also, I used the word 'catacombs' for the place where Malik grew up because I don't think they had a definite name or anything. Plus they remind me of the Roman Catacombs (without the holes for bodies).

888

It was a hot day and Ryou Bakura's pale skin was burning despite being in an air conditioned vehicle. It was a weird feeling having the rays of the sun scorching his body while the AC blew blizzards down his spine. He didn't notice the odd temperature though, or maybe he didn't even care. He was in Egypt with Malik Ishtar and he was going to explore Egyptian catacombs (apparently where Malik had grown up). His heart raced with joy warming his blood.

Malik had invited him to the catacombs, explaining he had wanted to go to the place of his childhood for a long time. Ryou politely asked why, of all people, he had been chosen. Ryou was given a cryptic answer by the Egyptian and he decided not to impede on the matter further. Exploring lost tombs was something that got Ryou excited, not exploring the reasons of why people did what they did (unless it happened to be ancient people).

He could almost hear the echoes of his father's archeological stories as he stared out the window. The desert sun beat on the sand mercilessly, making it seem like he was riding in an ocean of white with ripples the size of sand dunes. His father had equated riding through the desert like sailing the ocean, one blue sky overhead and a million mysteries underneath. He said he could feel the mysteries pulsating from below the earth, as if they were calling to him. Ryou smiled, he loved mysteries like that. He loved not knowing what was just around the corner.

Or in front of him for that matter.

He looked at the other man who was driving the vehicle. Malik had an unusual hair color for an Egyptian, but Ryou had to admit he also had an unusual hair color for a human being. Ryou knew he had never really met Malik. It had been Yami Bakura who made contact with Malik and it had been Yuugi and his friends that told him all about Malik afterward. Even Malik's impromptu invitation hadn't been long enough for them to get to know each other.

Was that why Malik had chosen him to explore the catacombs with him? To get to know him better?

And almost by impulse, Malik broke the humming silence of the air conditioning.

"Bakura, how does it feel to be free?"

At first the question confused Ryou, but he knew what the other was talking about. It was about the other Bakura. "I haven't thought about it yet." He really hadn't thought about it. He felt guilty about that. "How do you feel without a voice in your head?" Ryou asked, knowing Malik also had had another consciousness inside of him.

"I don't know." Malik answered. "He never talked in my head. I didn't even know of his existence until Battle City and I still don't know much about him. No one has ever told me."

"Doesn't that feel like not knowing a part about yourself?" Ryou blurted out. He hadn't really meant to ask such a personal question.

Malik thought about this for a while and answered casually, "I guess so, yes."

"I know I have little place to tell you this but I felt that way too when I was denied entrance into the Sennen Puzzle." Ryou said. He felt he should at least try to establish a common ground with the other. After all, they had both lived similar situations that they couldn't talk to anyone else about in such a matter (not even Yuugi).

"I wasn't allowed to help my friends. I know I probably wasn't strong enough to help them anyway but I wanted to at least redeem myself in their eyes. I wanted to right all the wrong things that had happened and become a worthy friend." Ryou looked away. Malik most likely didn't know what he was talking about. Ryou bit his tongue the same way most people do when they've said something embarrassing.

How could he communicate what he had felt to Malik? Had Malik ever felt incredibly worthless in his life? He probably hadn't, Ryou thought. Weren't there carvings on his back that made him extremely important to the Pharaoh's memory?

Ryou himself didn't know how important he himself was to the Pharaoh's memory and he probably wouldn't ever know.

"How do you feel now that that presence is gone?" Said Malik. Ryou faced him, considering the rephrased question. Perhaps Malik required a rephrased answer.

"I think I'm starting to realize my own loneliness." Ryou said honestly, placing a hand on his chest, as if to touch something. Malik looked at him oddly, so Ryou quickly withdrew his hand.

Had they reached a misunderstanding already? Ryou resigned that he did not know a thing about who Malik was, he only had crude, rushed descriptions about the other. Malik probably did not know anything about who Ryou Bakura was either.

"Did you believe that that darkness inside of you was ever a part of you?" Malik asked. Perhaps he sensed that Ryou was upset, but that could just as easily had been Ryou's big imagination. Or at least Ryou pretended that it was. It was unusual to have someone seem so concerned about his feelings. It was as if Malik was searching for his own feelings while he questioned him.

"Yuugi always called the spirit of the Pharaoh Other Me. But it wasn't really him. That spirit... it wasn't me either. It tried to trick me by fulfilling my wishes and calling me its landlord, but I always knew I was only its prisoner. I've been captive for so long I can't remember who I used to be anymore."

Malik was silent. He stared at Ryou with his lavender eyes, reading him.

Ryou continued. "It even took my name. I'm sure Yuugi-tachi will always say my name with a bitterness now."

Malik made to turn around and leave the other in peace with his thoughts but Ryou started up again. Should he have accepted the silence? He could feel his shyness being covered by whatever feeling telling the truth gave him.

"I guess I never realized how lonely I was without that spirit around. Before I could go to sleep in my apartment and be greeted by that voice in my head, and even though he was evil it was still comforting to know that someone was there with me. And that too gave me a reason to try and destroy him. It gave me something to do. I can't take back what he did to everyone and now I can't even help fight him off. But I don't have a reason to do that now that he's gone. I suppose it's better this way." He gave the best smile he could. "I don't have to fight now. I can live my own life."

Malik nodded, acknowledging what he was saying and returned to keeping his eyes on the road. There was a deep silence between them that made Ryou feel like he had exposed his feelings to nothing but a blank wall.

Perhaps Malik Ishtar was the type of person who could receive information and not show that he had. Ryou found it interesting because when he was surrounded by his friends they showed emotions spastically.

Malik's unusual silence persisted when they left the car and opened a hatch in the desert sand. They descended into what looked like a flight of stairs leading into a tunnel. It was somewhat plain, devoid of ornate detail or even uniqueness but to Ryou it was more than interesting.

"This is where I used to live." Malik said solemnly as if talking to himself. He turned on a flashlight and kept the beam on the stairs.

Ryou could tell the catacombs they were exploring weren't ancient or at least had been built and re-built many times in history. He guessed they weren't because Malik had been born in them, but for some reason they still brought about a sense of a musty coldness like that of a graveyard.

A graveyard with ghosts.

The wind blew through the tunnels. It sounded like the moans of an aching women. Ryou felt a shiver go up his spine like he had felt when AC had been on full blast. But he liked it. It would have made a normal person run for the surface but not him. Ghosts intrigued him.

He remembered getting into the occult. It seemed like an escape to him, just as some kids would get into music or some other thing. Haunted houses always piqued his interests when he roamed his neighborhood and he loved antique shops. He practiced divination on some of his older friends. Parents had thought him an odd child and refused to let their children play with him. That was when he started playing games by himself.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by another moan. It was softer this time, but still engrossed in fits of what sounded like internal pain. An aching spirit in fits of strife for eternity.

Malik walked ahead of him, checking here and there but never really taking interest in anything. It was like he didn't even hear the moaning.

Ryou thought that was a shame.

Going through the catacombs felt like roaming a ghost town to him. The presence of spirits here seemed to be as heavy to Ryou as his own dark spirit had been. But these spirits didn't seem to be as menacing as the evil spirit. There was a sense of wonder in these tunnels that excited him, made his sense of adventure come to life like never before. It was like actually living his father's stories.

And behind every corner, within every empty space, Amane might be watching him from the land of the dead.

Despite the natural coldness of being underground, this thought gave him a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. The moaning wind stopped then and never came back.

"You lived here as a child?" Ryou asked. It wasn't really a question he needed answering to. It was a conversation starter.

"Yes. I was born and raised here until I left with Rishid. My clan lived here too but I have hardly kept in touch with them." Malik said mechanically. He didn't seem to want to talk about his past. Usually when people are in the houses of their childhoods they brought up all sorts of memories, but Malik didn't seem to have any connection with the underground. It was like he was as much of a stranger here as Ryou was.

It was almost like Malik felt nothing as he followed the halls of his past.

So Ryou talked about his own childhood. "When I was a child my favorite thing to do was play with dolls. My sister had a lot of them and my mother always scolded me for playing with them, but I never listened to her. I used to bury them in the sandbox and pretend I was helping my father in one of his digs."

It occurred to Ryou that he had no idea what Malik's opinion was on archeology and the exploitation of his ancient heritage. He didn't have a chance to ask though.

"My mother died when I was born. My sister, Rishid and my father raised me. I was very important to my father. But.." Malik said. He touched the wall as if to bring back the feelings of his childhood. As if he were actually trying to. "Everyone was so solemn in these tunnels. Our routine, our duty, it felt like I was living in my own grave. There was no way out of it that I could see." He said turning to face Ryou.

"My darker half also granted me my wishes. It did a terrible thing...but in the end I was able to leave this place. I hadn't thought much about this place or for what purpose I was born here. All I saw was revenge and that was reason enough for getting out. But I don't even see that anymore." He said and continued on through the passage ways.

Ryou followed him in silence. He realized that it was a highly personal experience for Malik to be going through these tunnels. Ryou had no reason to question Malik further because it was something of a sacred catharsis for him as well.

They entered a smaller hallway and stepped into a large room, or at least that was what Ryou thought it was. In the middle of the room was a pillar of light that cascaded from a hole in the vaulted ceiling. Ryou thought it was just his eyes playing tricks on him until he realized the light was sunshine pouring down from the surface. It was like he was standing at the bottom of a well.

"I liked this place." Malik said. "It was always warmer because of the sunlight. My mother was in here once and found Rishid."

He looked at Ryou with sad eyes. It was like he felt guilty. "Tell me of your family Bakura."

Ryou nodded, keeping his voice soft to keep the somberness of the moment. "My father is an archeologist, you know. Because of my father's working habits my mother divorced him and lives with her new husband now. I had a sister, Amane. She is dead but I still write letters to her."

"Amane." Malik mimicked. He reached his hand into the pillar of light making his skin glow white. He let his hand play in the beam of light, as if it were floating by itself.

Ryou realized that he wanted to ask Malik so many other questions. What had it been like to live underground? Was it lonelier than living in an apartment by yourself? How had he learned Japanese and what was the reason that his hair was blond? Since his clan had lived underground, where had they buried their dead? Did he write letters to his mother as well?

But Ryou couldn't bring himself to ask. His curiosity struggled with his shyness. Besides, he respected the absolute muteness of the occasion.

Malik continued to play in the beam of light but eventually withdrew his hand and faced Ryou.

"This is what I wanted you to see Ryou Bakura."

Ryou gave him a confused look. "The light?"

"Aren't we just small pillars of light in the darkness? This is how I felt with my other self during the finals. I felt like I could see right through myself, like I was hardly there. The actions he did were attributed to me and he was living my life. But I was there. I was still warm with the light of living."

Ryou hadn't considered Malik so introspective before. He hadn't considered much about anybody before actually. So what was Malik saying about the light? That they were just pillars of light in the darkness. That sounded right to him in a vague sense.

Malik turned to Ryou. "Do you understand?"

"Yes I understand." Said Ryou though what he was understanding wasn't something very comprehensible

"Tell me more about your childhood Bakura." Ryou guessed Malik changed the subject on purpose. For whatever reason Ryou had no idea.

But that didn't bother him. Ryou talked about his childhood, his sister and the occult and sometimes both. Malik listened intently to Ryou's conversation, though he never smiled or related it to his own childhood.

Malik would have seemed cold to the average person but it felt like Ryou had met the deepest part of Malik Ishtar. In these deep tunnels it was Ryou who was the talkative one and Malik who didn't bother with initiating most things.

They walked for hours, not really walking to any place in particular. The tunnels stretched on and on just as Ryou's conversation about school and hamburgers, but the tunnels had a definitive end.

Just as Ryou was going to say where his favorite place to get cream puffs was Malik interjected, "You write letters to your sister even though you won't get a reply?"

Ryou nodded. "I want her to know that someone still thinks of her." Ryou knew the Ancient Egyptians had thought about their dead regally. But the thing was, Malik wasn't an Ancient Egyptian. "Do you think of those who have passed away?"

Malik looked like he was surprised to hear that. "My mother died before I got to know her and I wouldn't honor my father. I don't care what the dead think of me and there isn't anything I can do about that. But I would do anything for Ishizu and Rishid. I came here because Ishizu thought I should."

So that was why Malik had come to this place even though he didn't seem especially fond of his childhood memories, Ryou thought.

Then a bird perched in front of Malik and Ryou's feet.

"They used to get in here a lot. My sister and I would always chase them out because we weren't allowed to feed them." He said as he walked towards the bird.

He carefully shooed the bird further and further down the halls. It seemed like forever as Malik led the bird out of the maze of tunnels and other rooms.

So this was Malik Ishtar. The man had once used his revenge to get through the impending destiny of his own life. He had rejected his duties but ended up fulfilling them anyway. He was the man that seemed to have more of an interest in motorcycles than his own cultural heritage.

Ryou could have perceived Malik as self concerned. Ryou could have thought that all their meeting had been was a shrink session where it was the doctor who learned more about himself than the patient did. He could have thought that Malik hadn't been really listening to anything he had to say and he could have concluded that Malik was as cold as the tunnels themselves.

But Ryou didn't think those things. He didn't expect Malik to be warm coming from a place as cold as this. He wouldn't expect a letter from Malik when he got home to his apartment, nor would he expect a phone call from the other. Perhaps Malik's ideology was to each his own, if I help myself I help others.

But that wasn't everything about him. Ryou liked to look at all the details, like observing a set board of Monster World. Malik was poetic and could be caring.

Ryou knew he would have to thank Malik for a trip down his own memory lane.

They finally reached the stairs in silence. The bird flew out into the open sky. It was relieving to see the light, though it hurt Ryou's eyes for a moment.

"How do you feel Ryou Bakura?" Malik asked again.

There was no use trying to be vague to Malik. "I don't want to live in the darkness anymore." The feeling wasn't only on his skin, it was in his gut and there it would stay.

Malik smiled.

To Ryou, Malik's smile was as natural as writing letters to the dead.

When Ryou got home there were no calls left on the answering machine. A neighbor had watered the few plants he owned. There were no letters for him.

So Ryou wrote his own letter. He wrote about the Egyptian catacombs and how it felt like he was living his father's stories. He noted how the wind gave a moaning noise like a spirit in pain and how the whole place had been as desolate as a ghost town. He explained Malik Ishtar and how he seemed cold and unconcerned but also poetic and caring. He ended with the pillar of light. That was what had stuck with him the most. He finished his letter, leaving it for Amane to read.

888

Notes: Did you get my metaphor of the 'catacombs'. I thought mentioning Kul Elna, when neither character knew anything about it, might be a bit out of place, but perhaps Malik's former dwellings, devoid of life at this point, might be just as eery as Kul Elna. It might have also struck Ryou (because of his former life and fascination with the occult) as being haunted. Or maybe that's just me.

I don't get a lot of advice so reviews are very helpful to me.


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